For many years, Garrett and I have played the popular online game Final Fantasy XIV (he the tank, and I the healer). Originally playing on completely opposite sides of the digital and physical world, we eventually would join the same group of friends. Starting simply as acquaintances while I was reeling from a divorce and he reeling from a breakup, we only hung out occasionally within said group of friends. Neither of us would have ever guessed in a million years that we would one day get married…

Both with broken pasts filled with less than stellar relationships, we bonded over sharing stories of our history and relating to each other through our similar trials. Neither of us were considering marriage as a future option in general, much less to each other! While nurturing our growing friendship, Garrett informed me that he had his eyes set on a mutual friend of ours and I was thrilled for the both of them! I set to work. I began chatting with him and tried to help coach him on getting her attention. Just call me Cupid! Somewhere along this path though, my role as his matchmaker shifted without me realizing and he eventually informed me that he was actually interested in me. I was shocked! I replied with the fact that I wasn’t ready to date, wasn’t interested in going down that road, and he shouldn’t waste his time on me, but he has this nasty habit of not listening to me; After all, he had all the time in the world (his words).

Garrett was incredibly patient with me. He was tender and kind, open and honest; he let me guide the pace of the friendship, knowing full well that it would take a good while before I would agree to give us a chance, if ever. He was a breath of fresh air compared to those of my past. After a couple of months of developing our friendship further, I finally agreed to let him visit me to see if there would be anything there once we met in person. I was terrified that he wouldn’t be the same guy I had spent the last few months getting to know, but my fear was for nothing. He was just as patient and tender with me in person as he was online and continued to let me guide the pace of this blossoming relationship.

Most people agree (those who don’t are in denial) that dogs are great judges of character. So step one in taking this friendship further was meeting my two fur babies. Anyone who knows me can attest to how much these dogs mean to me, and how fiercely I love them. I haven’t really met many that they didn’t like, but should these two not approve of someone, that’s the end of the road for them! Garrett, thankfully, had nothing to fear as the dogs instantly loved him, so he passed the first test.

On top of winning the two of them over, he would open every door for me and allow me to go first (no, ladies, chivalry is not dead), something he still continues to do to this day years later. He listened intently when I spoke and held meaningful conversations with me. Though I was nervous as all get out to meet him in person for the first time, just being in his presence calmed me immediately. I could feel the walls around my heart chipping away. And it certainly didn’t hurt that he gives the best hugs ever! We spent a lot of time talking and exploring how we interacted in the real world. I think the best part of the visit was getting to share my favorite place with him; the Atlanta Aquarium! He even sat willingly in the Splash Zone for the dolphin show! I could tell I was in for an adventure and fun life if I were to continue this relationship further. Though it was sad to see him leave after such a good visit, I felt a shimmer of something I hadn’t really felt in quite a long time… hope and excitement.

On his next visit down, we went on to meet up for some delicious boba with my best friend Nicole, where he proceeded to pass the second test. Knowing how awful my past track record has been, I no longer trusted myself to make judgment calls alone on who to date, so who better to reach out to than my best friend of over two decades? I had also told Garrett that I would not agree to date him until he met my parents and achieved their approval, so we took a trip over to meet them; they didn’t hesitate to give the stamp of approval. I think I knew I was in trouble when he went to my mom’s studio with us and learned how to do a pour painting for the first time! Seeing how he interacted with my family, showed genuine interest in their interests, and jumping right in to give them a try warmed my heart so much.

The denial I had been clinging to could no longer win…Was this it? Were we really going to allow ourselves to dive back into these waters again? Were we going to risk the pain and heartache that we both had worked so hard to get through and vowed to avoid? 

We took a deep breath and dove. And I couldn’t be more thankful!